Aisha’s Loss of Her Extended Family (Nigeria)

Aisha, from Lagos, Nigeria, was shunned by not only her immediate family but also her extended relatives after she was disfellowshipped for marrying a non-Witness man. Coming from a large Jehovah’s Witness family, Aisha had always been deeply involved in family gatherings, celebrations, and community life. When she was cut off, it wasn’t just her parents and siblings who shunned her—it was cousins, aunts, uncles, and even close family friends who had known her since childhood. Aisha describes the shunning as a “living death,” where she could no longer attend family get togethers, weddings, or even funerals. One of the most painful experiences came when her beloved grandmother passed away. Aisha was not informed until after the funeral had taken place, leaving her devastated and angry. She recalls sitting at home on the day of the funeral, mourning not only her grandmother’s death but the complete erasure of her presence in the family. Aisha often says the grief of shunning is akin to a prolonged, torturous mourning where you are forced to live without the people you love, even though they are still physically alive. The sense of loss is compounded by the knowledge that they choose to treat her as dead, and that, for her, is the hardest part to accept.