Jacob, from Portland, Oregon, was disfellowshipped at 25 after a rebellious phase where he questioned the teachings of Jehovah’s Witnesses and experimented with different lifestyles. His parents, strict believers, immediately severed all contact, and Jacob moved across the country to try to rebuild his life. While he initially felt liberated by the distance, the isolation soon settled in. He describes the constant ache of grief, a mix of regret and sorrow, knowing that he was no longer considered part of the family he had once been so close to. One of the most painful moments came when his younger sister got married. Jacob wasn’t invited to the wedding, and his family didn’t even tell him it was happening—he found out through social media. Seeing the pictures of his parents and siblings smiling without him in the photos made him feel like he had been erased. Jacob admits that even though years have passed, he still dreams of reconciliation, though he knows that as long as he stays away from the faith, his family will continue to shun him. The grief, he says, is like losing people who are still walking the earth, but with walls built between them.